Posted in Health and Wellness, Inspiration, Motivation, Work

Are you a Happy Resource?

Be a happy resource

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.

Last week, I met with  two human resources professionals who teased about calling themselves ‘Happy Resources’ instead of ‘Human Resources”.   They take on their role quite seriously in the organization but have consciously decided to create a happy space at work.  I thought this was quite cool.  In addition to recruitment, staff training and general work place processes, Human Resources play an instrumental role in boosting staff morale and it even adds to job retention. To decide to be ‘Happy Resources’ sets a friendly, warm and engaging environment.

I left the meeting and asked myself, ‘Are you a happy resource?’  I am a happy resource. I love being a happy resource. I may have sad and disappointing moments but these moment don’t overpower my life as a person.  I choose to be happy and to engage in things which make me feel happy.  I choose to radiate happiness when I connect with others and to be someone who can add to their happiness through both small and big acts of love, kindness, compassion and inspiration. Maybe some of us are born happy, but I think that happiness also comes from our own conscious actions.

Interestingly enough, work places also like to have happy, positive people around.  It reduces stress and adds to an overall happy space.  Whether you are applying for a job, being interviewed for one or you already have a job, be mindful of the happiness factor.

Are you a happy resource?  The energy in the world is a collective mass of all of our energies.  Choose to be happy and add joy to the world!

Inspiration 2015!

Live your future now… step into your happiness.

Love,

Magdalene

 

Posted in Leadership, Motivation, People who inspire others, Work

Can words of affirmation give you the confidence to secure a job, improve your relationship and become more empowered to face challenges?

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“As an Internationally Trained Professional, I faced (for two years) the barriers/challenges that most immigrants face such as lack of Canadian experience, lack of credential assessment, lack of labour market information and the worst – lack of a job. The overwhelming weight of these “lacks” on my back crippled my momentum and obscured my vocational vision. Magdalene’s sterling ability to coach, inspire and empower coupled with her expertise in the field of career development, self-assessment and transitional management led me to develop a compelling value proposition, networking strategy and job search approach which gave me access to employment commensurate with my skills and expertise within one month”  E. Lawel Natufe

This testimonial came up this morning while I was looking for something else through my files.  About two years ago, Lawel expressed his gratitude to me at his farewell party at work.  He said, “What Magdalene  did for me was to affirm me as a person who had what it takes to re-build my career.” He was a young man whom I met about six years ago, who had been unemployed for about two years, completely frustrated and had lost confidence in himself. Looking back at my experience working with him one of my strategies as an employment counselor back then was to re-build his self-confidence.  I saw huge potential in him and believed in his abilities to get back on his feet.  I can truly say that words of affirmation were instrumental in helping him to overcome the obstacles while we also applied some strategies such as mentorship and re-branding his resume and his approach to the job market.  Today, he is a well established professional and an entrepreneur  who is contributing his professional skills to the Canadian economy and internationally. Not only that, he is living his vocation as a minister and contributing to positive changes in the lives of others.

What is it about words of affirmation that inspires and grounds us?

When we speak kindly to others and affirm their superior qualities we give them confidence to face life, regardless of what circumstances they encounter.  More importantly, I have discovered that if words of affirmation are backed up by pure and good intention for the other person, the two become  powerful forces to help move a person forward very quickly.  I can write an inexhaustible list of people who have affirmed me and whom I have affirmed and I can see the difference we have made in each others lives.  One such example is an old man whom I met when I was about 10 years old, who said to me, “You speak English so well, you will go far in your life.” I often think of him when I blog.

You can never forget a person who express sincerity and confidence in you, especially in your darkest moments.

You can also never forget a person who speaks words to diminish your character or belittle you.

A friend has repeatedly  told me, “We must be careful about how we speak to each other. It even determines the level of intimacy which is shared between a couple.  A man or woman who feels ‘small and insignificant’ to his/her partner, cannot perform at an optimal level in the relationship.  It leaves a gap between the couple which can easily be filled by someone else or some other activity.”

A young woman told me that she was always called “ugly” by her parents and grew up to believe that she is an ugly person even when she has grown up to be a strikingly beautiful woman.

How do you affirm those around you?

Here are a few statements you can use to affirm yourself and others.  As you say them, make them even more powerful by adding  good intentions and sincerity as well as believing in each statement completely.

To affirm yourself:

  • I love myself.
  • I trust myself.
  • I believe in my ability to excel.
  • I am beautiful.
  • I can accomplish this task.
  • I have the courage to make …. decisions
  • I am intelligent and creative.  I can find solutions to my challenges.

To affirm others:

  • You are wonderful.
  • I like it when you do…..
  • You make me feel very special when you….
  • You add so much joy and peace to my life…
  • You are an incredible person.
  • Thank you for always being there for me.
  • I love you unconditionally.
  • You did a difficult job well.
  • I appreciate your sincerity.
  • Thank you for looking after me.
  • Thinking of you makes me smile.
  • You are doing a great job.  Don’t give up!
  • Thank you for listening.
  • You look great!
  • I appreciate it when you do…..
  • I admire your courage to face your challenges…

TuneIn today to the absolutely phenomenal person you are!  StepUp and affirm yourself.  Believe in your limitless potential to add goodness and great value to your life.  StepUp even more to affirm those in your life – let them know how much you care and trust in their ability to rise!

Love,

Magdalene

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Health and Wellness, Living from the soul, Motivation, Overcoming fear, Relationships, Work

What is the cost of NOT pushing your boundaries?

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“No” is a complete sentence. Anne Lamott

Pushing boundaries (going beyond setting boundaries) is something which I have not always been comfortable with but it is something which I have come to value more as I get older.  It is perhaps because I care less about what other people think of me as I strive to find clarity and real answers to the many questions I have about life. Some people call it bold, as my school principal did when I was four years old.  One day, he called me “Madlene” at the school assembly. I  boldly  walked up to the front of the assembly and corrected him by saying that my name was “Magdalene” and not “Madlene.”  Now, at four years old, I don’t think I knew anything about setting or pushing  my boundaries. I was simply responding from my heart to fix something which did not sound right to me. From that day on, he held huge respect for me and even now (4o years later) we both remember that distinct moment and he never called me “Madlene” again!

As I got older, I noticed patterns in my behaviours where I simply accepted what others did or said because I did not want to step outside my comfort zone, for fear of hurting them or having too much information which could hurt me. It became increasing difficult for me to say “no” and I would actually prefer not to know about some things because knowing would need action on my part or would make me feel uncomfortable. When we look deeper into the issues of why we do not push our boundaries, it is all rooted in fear.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of being unloved.  Fear of losing control.  Fear of not having enough.  However, as our soul expands and seeks truth and clarity to live our soul mission, those walls begin to crumble. An enlightened soul is no longer afraid of asking questions and pushing against the boundaries because we know whatever the responses are, negative or positive, the universe will provide all that we  need for the next steps of our journey.

A young woman once told me that she was dating a guy whom she was not sure about.  I asked her why and her response was, “I feel that he is not really interested in me.  He takes a long time to ask me out.”

What should she do?  Push the boundaries.  She wanted to stay in the safe zone and wait for him to make the next move.  He was clearly not giving her the green light.  I asked her to invite him out on a date to meet some of her friends.

Reluctantly, she agreed and asked him out.  His first response was, “Can we talk about this?”

“Why?” she asked.

“Because I am not comfortable meeting your friends yet.” he responded.

After six months of “seeing” someone, how can you not want to meet their friends? How can you not want to know more about them?

By pushing her boundaries in asking him to meet her friends, his response brought clarity to her that he was not ready to engage in a serious relationship with her.  She ended the relationship because it was not in alignment with what she needed in a relationship. By not pushing those boundaries, she could have remained in this undefined relationship for a longer time.  Several months later she met someone else who was happy to meet her friends right away.

Here is a list of situations which could be resolved if the boundaries were pushed a bit.

  • You feel stressed all day about not being sure whether you are meeting the expectations of your boss.  Push the  boundaries by asking a question about your performance. It is better for you to know so that you can  take charge of the situation and improve your performance if you need to.
  • You are bored doing the same job.  Push your boundaries by asking for additional responsibilities or a another  position.  You may want to push your boundaries even further by applying to other positions outside of your company.
  • You want to exit  a relationship but you are  afraid that  you will hurt your partner’s feelings. Push your boundaries by speaking about it. For all you know, your partner may also want to leave and be free. Start by saying something like, “I am not feeling happy or fulfilled in our relationship anymore. I would like to get a divorce / separation.” By being clear, you give the other person an opportunity to respond.  It may lead to a divorce but it can also lead to a better relationship.
  • You notice that the decisions being made in your company will have an adverse effect on the business. Your fear  of speaking up and being opposed causes  you to remain silent but you are  furious with yourself  for not speaking up.  Push the boundaries by putting your thoughts  in writing or gathering the courage to speak at the meeting.  Everyone may not agree but what if they did?  You could become a huge asset for this company.
  • Question the cost of things which you pay for regularly.  Most of us accept high insurance rates; we are scared to question our utility bills or afraid to negotiate a better interest rate on our mortgage or credit card. Push your boundaries by asking questions to make sure that you are receiving a fair service and the best price.

What does it cost you NOT to push your boundaries?  Loss of self-worth?  Loss of adding more value to the quality of your life?  Loss of money/income?  Loss of having fulfilled relationships and work?  Loss of living your soul mission?

As one person said to me, the cost of pushing boundaries for him was exorbitant!

“Pushing these boundaries require courage….the costs can also be exorbitant! I have spent my entire life pushing boundaries and have been punished for doing so. However, since I am aware of the consequences, I have also placed a lot of effort in preparing myself  for the consequences….this is what has made me into a better person. I have discovered a new me at all stages.”

When I push my boundaries  I feel that my soul expands. It takes courage to go beyond setting boundaries. It frees my mind, my soul and my heart and creates space for me to grow. Sometimes, we have simply outgrown a boundary  and need to explore beyond.  I have concluded that if people truly love and respect me, they will also love and appreciate my growth when I  push those boundaries.

“Tolerance is nothing more than patience with boundaries.”
― Shannon L. Alder

TuneIn to areas which are not exactly your comfort zone. StepUp and pay attention about what matters to you.

Posted in Uncategorized

Stop thinking. Do it. Quickest counselling session…

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A colleague shared her first and fastest employment counselling session she had in Canada, which lasted for 15 minutes and moved her from thinking to action.

She told the employment counsellor that she wanted to teach French in the public service and that she had all the qualifications and skills to do it.  The employment counsellor looked at her and said, “Then go and do it.”

At first she was a bit shocked that it was that easy. “Go and do it?”  How easy is that?

She got the job effortlessly.  In that moment of being told to “Go and do it.”  her brain must have connected the dots and made her realize that there was no reason she could not do the job since she had all the requirements. She received an affirmation  that it was possible. Prior to that she had talked herself into this self-defeating syndrome that she was not good enough, she was so new to Canada, why would anyone hire her….the endless reasons we convince ourselves that things will not work out.

Yesterday, a friend called me to  help her decide whether she should move back to her home country.  I listened while she explained all the reasons that she could not go.  She may not get a job if she moved back. She may lose her financial security that she has built here.  She may face sexual harassment.  She may not be able to adjust to her home country after being away for so long…. the list went on and on about things that may never happen.

“Why do you want to go back?” I asked.

“Because when I am there, I feel belonged.  I feel happy. I don’t have to wonder whether I am accepted or not.”

“Then do it.” I said.

I look at my own patterns over the years and realize how often I have sabotaged myself and talked myself out of making soul decisions because of fear or I procrastinate until I drive myself crazy. The fear that I am not good enough, not ready, not qualified enough, not smart enough, not financially able… there can be an bottomless list of reasons why you should not do what your soul truly desire.  The procrastination that I will do it later, it’s not the right time…. always an excuse for not acting.

Very often we discount what we feel because we think too much.  Spend sometime with the feeling and ask yourself:

  •  If I acted on this feeling, how will it change my life in the future?(and/or other lives)
  • How does this feeling align with my soul mission?
  • How will my soul expand if I acted on how I am feeling now, even though I don’t know what the results will be?
  • What is stopping me from doing this now?  Does it involve other people?  Is the risk beyond me?
  • Is this a feeling that will have negative consequences for others?

If the feeling continues to nag at you, then stop thinking and ACT. Through your actions, you will find your way.

TuneIn to what your soul is nudging you to do. Your soul already knows the answer.  StepUp to expand your soul work – feel with your heart and take a step of faith.

Sign up for a TuneIn and StepUp Challenge.  We are looking for participants worldwide!

https://tuneinandstepup2013.wordpress.com/signup-for-a-tunein-and-stepup-challenge-2014/

Love,

Magdalene

Posted in Uncategorized

Do you deliver 70% or 100%?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA“Don’t expect others to do things exactly as you would do it yourself. If you can deliver at least 70%, it is o.k.” These were the words of my mentor advising me on how to deal with a project several years ago.

Why was 70% o.k for him? It was not good enough for me. At that time, I had high expectations of myself and others plus the need to control the results of the project which added additional stress on my mind and the team. I couldn’t understand why others could not put as much effort in getting things done as I was.

Wisdom kicked in over the years. I have lost several committed friends to illness and death who wished they had a more balanced approach and had spent more time enjoying the journey of life. I still aim high but I know that most importantly when managing projects and my life in general, each person involved can make or break the targeted results. For excellent execution, 80% of problems are solved by simply having the right people in the first place who also understand the true value of a team and how to balance each other. While we all want our visions to materialize perfectly, we need to consider other factors that life throws at us and continuously work at risk management. My mentor’s suggestion for delivering at least 70% of my results allows me to cater to the days that someone is ill; a few moments to enjoy and celebrate something special; a few moments to breathe a little better; a few moments to connect at a deeper level with someone; a few moments in between to simply let life lead me down paths I would not think about before. 70% allows me a few moments do nothing sometimes.

My 70% helps me to manage my expectations around other human beings in my path and acknowledge that they too are their own soul journeys with their dreams and challenges. Managing these expectations significantly reduces my stress level which increases my ability to manage everything around me better. Surprisingly, my 70% is becoming a restful and enjoyable 90% of living life generously, gracefully and with a sense of well-being. I actually prefer to live life with this balance than the stressful drive to getting things done perfectly well. Sometimes, we get to 100% with the least effort simply because a space has been created to be at ease with each other and to feel happy. When expectations are managed, we feel happier and life opens up more and more opportunities for us to live in this ideal space of well-being.

What is your % in meeting your life/soul deliverables? If going for a full 100% works for you, don’t limit yourself. We all have different approaches to work/life balance. TuneIn to how you balance your life and StepUp to create a space of well-being around you and those around you.

Love,
Magdalene

Posted in Beyond logic!, Health and Wellness, Life Purpose, Living from the soul, Motivation, Overcoming fear, Relationships, Work

Are you intelligent? How do you know?

“Do you think Sara is intelligent?” my friend asked me.

“I don’t know” I asked. It depends on the situation.

This led into a long, winding conversation because I don’t think that people should be labeled as intelligent or non-intelligent. We have created so many labels around ourselves and others with our perception of what is intelligent or not intelligent.

We are all intelligent people who show our intelligence in various ways and it is important for us to tune in to those gifts we have and not let others decide our level of intelligence and worst yet, to live our lives by the label they have set for us. By tuning in, we can USE our gifts instead of trying to change something in us, that no matter how hard we try, it will never feel right for the unique person we are.

– Raj is a gifted communicator and a master in sales but terrible at maintaining relationships because he simply can’t get along with others for a long period.
– Alia is gifted intellectually and can analyse huge quantities of information to show startling findings.
– Carms is the sweetest, kindness and most loving person you could ever meet and has developed a wide network of people in her life – from royalty to peasants.
– Steve is a master at fixing things – from cars to fixtures to electronics

Are any of those unique people less intelligent? When you meet them at their level, in their circle, doing what they absolutely do best – you can’t help but see the spark in their eyes and the bounce in their steps. Accepting ourselves and others as who we are, instead of who we should be… is actually more difficult than it seems.

This quote by Steve Jobs sums it all:
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”
TuneIn to the wonderful “YOU” that you are today and StepUp to BE YOU every single day!

Love,
Magdalene