It is easy to destroy opportunities that could give us a great career break, a promotion or a better chance at having a great relationship with a co-worker, friend, neighbour, child or partner. Even though much of world has gone digital, the human connection is still at the heart beat of making or breaking us. I take a deep interest in observing human interaction around me and very often I see situations that I think could have been dealt with differently, if only we are a bit more aware. Sometimes we think that how we behave at home is different from work but I think it is hard to separate the core of who we are. A happy person will carry that feeling of happiness everywhere they are. An angry person will carry the energy of anger whereever they are, even if they are dressed in the best garments.
From a soul perspective, I know that our souls are longing for expansion, advancement and to be filled with light. It longs to feel good about what we do on a day to day basis.
This list is not inexhaustible but here are a few things that can make or break the deal:
a) Not paying attention to who has influence and power to make or break you.
A few years ago, in the middle of a work crisis, a wise older woman wrapped her arms around me and said, “Magdalene, pay attention to every single person in the company. Acknowledge the smallest worker, for he or she has influence which is bigger than you may realize”. How true that was! Shortly afterwards, the person who opened the door to a specific opportunity for me was the cleaner who got to know more about me and was connected to the head of another organization who was looking for a person with my skill set. I was very surprised at the turn of events in this specific case. Sometimes we think that only our boss has the power to promote us – WRONG! Think of all the people who can talk to your boss or partner or child about you! I have seen cases where so much negative information was fed to the decision maker that it ruined any possibility of promotion for the worker, even when he had all the skills and could do the job. I have also seen people get promoted simply because others spoke about them in such a positive way. The more people who you have good relationships with – the better!
b) Lack of self-awareness:
Sometimes we have no idea of how our actions, body language, words and general energy comes across. I once interviewed a woman who looked so tired that even though she had an impressive resume and I believed that she could do the job, her low energy level simply drained me. Another time, someone else was so bubbly and excited that she too drained me because it was hard to keep up with her extremely high energy. I was once interviewed and did not get the job because I came across as being too confident! Since then I have learnt how to be a bit more humble and to also match my environment so that I fit in and not to stand out in the “wrong” way. Now, from a cross cultural perspective, this is very sentitive as behaviours from one country may be completely misunderstood by another country. It is important to educate yourself about other cultures, ask lots of questions if you are not sure of how you come across and be observant about how business is conducted around you.
People who are insecure in themselves feel that others are constantly against them or attacking them. This results in a constant inner battle which makes them guard against others to the destruction of establishing productive and positive relationships. If you are constantly complaining about everyone or feeling attacked by others, it is likely that you need to do something different to change that around. Exhibiting “smart-ass” behaviours, making rude remarks or making statements that put another person down sets a RED alarm, makes others feel inadequate and immediately begins an upspoken “battle”. I recently watched one person rolled her eyes and exchanged a dirty look with someone else, while their colleague was speaking and even though it was not targeted at me, I immediately developed a dislike for the person’s behaviour. I could not help but wonder if I worked with these people, whether I would be treated in a similar way.
d) Lack of gratitude for the simplest to the grandest things:
By nature, human being like to be appreciated and the more we can say “thank you” to others, the more we attract positive energy our way. By simply not acknowledging the good in others, we diminish the light around our own soul. Find ways to show your gratitude to others. Send a card, call to express your sentiment, send an e-mail, treat a person to lunch or coffee, buy a small gift… I try to express gratitude to at least one person each day and it always creates an uplifting energy!
Imagine if each one of us took individual responsibility to touch everything we do with gratitude, generosity, good intentions, love and sincerity. The best part of it all, is that the moment we become aware of the behaviours that can cause destruction in our lives, we have the power to change it around. Our soul loves nothing more but to expand and grow in a positive light.
TuneIn to what is causing destruction in your life and StepUp to make the change required to attract amazing opportunities.