“So have you been single for a long time?” I asked him.
“No.” he said.
“What was your last relationship like?” I asked.
And that was when MISTAKE #1 happened! He started to tell me about his last partner and even mentioned her name. The problem was that she was someone I knew very well (he had no idea!). Hearing those details made me cringe and it was my first time meeting him! When you meet a girl for the first time, NEVER talk bad about your ex and please don’t mention names!
I gulped and breathed in deeply.
“What do you like to do in your free time?” I asked.
He told me that he liked to walk and work out at the gym.
I looked at him twice to make sure that my eyes were not playing tricks on me. His belly hung like a huge ball in front of him. He was out of breath just walking a few meters with me.
And that was when MISTAKE #2 happened! He told me that he would SOON start his workout again. He had not been to the gym for over three years! Really – you LIKE to work out? NEVER up sell yourself. If you like to walk and workout, it should be your lifestyle. Not something you are thinking about! It is like being broke and telling me that you will soon be a millionaire!
“See those shoes,” he said. “I have had them for 8 years – I paid a lot of money for them.”
And we immediately jumped into MISTAKE #3. He proudly told me how much he saved. He was CHEAP about spending money. My stomach churned as I looked at the old, worn out pair of sneakers and could not help but wonder what else was over 8 years old! Oh God, please help me get to my car faster so I can get rid of this guy! Never let a girl know how cheap you are! For goodness sake, look modern and classy, especially when you are meeting a person for the first time!
It was an if the universe heard my cry to get away from him and immediately created MISTAKE #4!
He suddenly realized that he did not have the key to his car and said, “Oh no, I think I left my keys in my car!”
“Oh dear,” I said. “What are you going to do?”
“I have to go back now,” he said. “I just have to go back.”
“O.K.” I said shaking my head. He suddenly started hobbling in the other direction, completely disengaged with me while I stood there watching him.
I burst out laughing on the side of the street! It would take only a crazy person like myself to entertain him up to MISTAKE #4. If you are out with a girl and you lose your keys, you can’t just ignore her! You got to find a way to manage the situation and show some problem solving skills!
This is actually a true story of what happened with someone I met for the first time. It sounds so funny that you would almost think I made it up. However, as I often reflect quite deeply about the things that happen daily in my life, I must say that the universe responded to me exactly as I requested. I ask the universe to show me the signs I need to see in a person right from the beginning so I can be guided to know about their suitability in my life. Within an hour, I had been given four warning signs.
I wonder why many of us don’t see the RED ALERT signs early on in a relationship. Perhaps we don’t pay attention? Perhaps we are too busy thinking that we could change a person to being what we want him/her to be? Perhaps we simply do not know what we are looking for? Now I can spot the good signs and the bad sign in an instant. This is the beauty of maturing. At my age, there are a few things I simply turn me off: talking about your ex, being cheap and choosing to look “old” instead of being vibrant; lack of self-awareness; lack of caring for your body by eating properly and exercising; lack of problem solving skills.
If you can’t take care of yourself, how will you take care of me?
If you are single, TuneIn to the things that bug you about the person you are dating or getting to know. It may be hard to articulate it but you can feel it. If it feels wrong, chances are IT IS wrong. Listen to their words and see if it actually matches their actions. StepUp to claim your feelings and don’t settle for less than you truly deserve.