In a previous blog, I wrote about taking the time to speak to your emotions. Someone asked the question, “How can you speak to your emotion?” I thought I would give a sample situation to demonstrate. It is one of the most powerful techniques that we can master in our daily lives. Our emotions are NOT our enemies. They sit with us as long as necessary to help us master them and recognize them as powerful forces that builds our awareness. Sometimes, without the awareness of what triggered the emotion, the emotion remains way longer than is necessary. Positive emotions are good but negative emotions can create havoc in a person’s daily life without realizing what it stems from.
Situation: Young woman realizes that she is constantly angry. She looks at herself in the mirror and says “Why do I have that angry look on my face?” She has difficulty trusting others and making friends. She is quite lonely.
Choice: She does not have to do anything. She can choose to remain being angry for the rest of her life. However, the fact that she is questioning it, is the first step in becoming more aware that this anger exists within her. If she chooses to explore more, the conversation with her soul/emotion can be something like this:
Young woman: “I feel so angry. I can see it in my face. I can feel it in my body. Anger, I know you are a powerful emotion. Talk to me. Help me to understand you and to honour you that I can find peace.
Emotion/Soul: Thank you my child for honouring that feeling. I have waited for you to touch me, to feel me, to recognise that I am there.
Young woman: Why are you there Anger? Why do you show up in my life so often? You prevent me from experiencing joy in my life.
Emotion/Soul: Joy my dear one, is for all of us to enjoy. Anger is also no less important. Each emotion is necessary to help us understand all the dimensions of life. I show up so that you can be aware that I exist. I show up so that you can make peace with me and learn how to navigate through life.
Young woman: How do I make peace with you? What do you want from me Anger?
Emotion/Soul: My child, I have lived in you for a long, long time… searching for your attention. Do you remember that day in Grade 10 when your best friend betrayed you by telling someone else your secret? On that day, you invited me into your life and it has been 10 years I have sat in here, in your heart, waiting for you to touch me.
Young woman: Ten years!!!!! You have been there for 10 years!!! All this time!!! I don’t want you there any more. I feel that I am choking. I feel that I cannot breathe sometimes. (She begins to cry). I feel you so often in my life and I don’t understand it!
Emotion/Soul: Since that day, you don’t trust anyone. You keep all your secrets to yourself. You feed me by hurting others and lashing out at your friends and loved ones. Did you know that on that day, your friend did not mean to hurt you but it happened anyway. She asked for your forgiveness but you could not find it in your heart to forgive her. You have never been able to have another friend like her. In fact you have no friends because I have become your friend. You invited me in and I have just kept you lonely and miserable. She has been able to move on and have new friends while you are hurting yourself with me.
Young woman: What do I have to do for you to leave me? I don’t want you Anger in my life any more.
Emotion/Soul: I can leave anytime. It is your decision. My role in your life is to let you feel ME. I am powerful and I AM a great teacher. What have you learnt about me? If you have not learnt anything from me sitting in there for so long, I probably will come back to spend some more time with you.
Young woman: I can see how I have hurt myself by not forgiving her. I never understood why she betrayed me but it doesn’t matter now because she did say that she was sorry and I want to forgive her. I closed my heart to her and in the end I also closed my heart to everyone else. I thought I was hurting her but now I see that I have been hurting myself.
Emotion/Soul: Yes. When I sit in your heart, I take up quite a lot of space until you make peace with me. I wreak havoc. I ruin happy moments. I make you see only the worst in others. Now, when I leave, what will you replace me with? There will be a huge space in your heart!
Young woman: (Sobbing) I don’t want you there any longer. I want to feel love. I want to feel alive. I want to feel compassion. I want to enjoy being around people without having your ugly head pop up in my life all the time. I want to feel happy.
Emotion/Soul: My child, please don’t misunderstand me. Anger is a good emotion. It pops up to protect you and to keep you safe. Don’t you want me to keep you safe anymore?
Young woman: (Still sobbing). I want to be safe but not with you Anger. Your safety is not helping me to enjoy life. It keeps me chained to this prison. I thank you for sitting in my heart for so long but I don’t have that space there anymore for you. I want to experience joy and love.
Emotion/Soul: Thank you for touching me and acknowledging me. In a moment I will be gone and you will be able to invite another emotion into your life. You are powerful beyond measure. ONLY YOU can learn what you need to learn and decide what emotion you can to call forth into your life. I will now leave you and find another soul to inhabit.
Young woman: Thank you Anger. Thank you for talking with me and sharing. This was a really great conversation. I am already feeling so much lighter as you leave me. WOW!!!!
Sometimes it can take several attempts to have those conversations with the emotions that bother us the most such as anxiety, helplessness, fatigue, depression, hopelessness etc. However, it can all be turned around in an instant!!!
These emotions are calling for our attention – let us TuneIn to what they are and StepUp to make peace with them. We are powerful beyond measure!!!